SuperMom Syndrome

Why hello there. It has been far too long, and there are a thousand things I hope to share soon. But for now I must start with what has been on  my mind A TON lately.

Being a "supermom". Okay seriously I know that to many of you veteran moms out there you know that there is really no such thing, and one day I truly hope that I can fully understand why this concept is one that I struggle with so badly.

As a new-ish mom of my wonderful, ornery, bossy and absolutely loving daughter I find myself occasionally struggling with feelings of inadequacy in the motherhood department. Our culture is one in which we have access to an overload of information, stories, pictures, words of wisdom and opportunities to compare our families to others. All of this can be so overwhelming and I have found that I do struggle with seeing what other families are doing and wondering where I went wrong.

For example, my 9.5 month old still does not sleep through the night. I have tried all I can think of and for some dumb reason it makes me feel like a bad mother, and honestly a bit hopeless. But, my 9.5 month old LOVES all kinds of food. I can put almost anything in front of her and she will gobble it up-especially if it has pizza sauce on it! So see its all sorts of crazy in my sleep-deprived brain. Once second I feel hopeless and the next I can't help but be proud of my foodie baby.

What I am trying to say is that when I take a second to step back and think about all of these thoughts, struggles, events and joys I realize that just because my daughter is different than another baby does not make me a bad mom. All it means is that my family is doing just as we are supposed to be doing-learning as we go. And all of those other families are doing the best they can too. And the beauty is that non of it is wrong.

Recently I have seen so many uplifting articles about how moms need to be a support for each other and that there is no one perfect way of raising a child. And let me just tell you how true that is. Recently, I had to start supplementing Cecilia's breastfeeding with formula and I had such a hard time with it at first. Then I realized how much it helps me feel like I am doing something right. If I had surrounded myself in a culture where formula was frowned upon, or where I was judged for feeling relief from that nightly bottle, I would probably lose my mind. This all goes to show that there is no one perfect way of parenting or being a mom.

We mothers, need to stick together and be a support for one another. I feel so lucky that I have a very strong support of new and veteran moms to help me along my journey. And one day, who knows maybe we will all find what it truly means to be a supermom for our own children.

Sam

Finding Balance

Joe and I have been working really hard to try and live a balanced life. It is so easy in this world we live in to get sucked into tv, our phones, facebook, eating out, or even not using our close proximity to the Basilica to attend Mass in the morning. There are so many things that we always talk about doing and sometimes those things never come to be because we let laziness or media or even our sometimes sleep deprived bodies tell us we are too tired to just not ready to get up and live how we know we should be.

For the last few months we have worked hard to find this balance--in everything from our budget, exercise, cooking and time we spend apart. Our job absolutely allows us so many incredible benefits outside of just living in this amazing city. We have the mornings and early afternoons to be productive, to use daylight hours to go on walks and to even recycle our cans at the local grocery store. Seriously, once we started to notice all of the ways we could work to balance our lives there was a flood of new activities and structure.

We are not always successful at this balance either. For example, the last two weeks we have been a little on the crazy side. We had to have work done in our apartment which meant our schedule was thrown off completely. We didn't have use of our kitchen or our normal times for naps, or exercise or dinner. Let me just say it has been SO HARD. It is really amazing how easy it is to get used to a schedule especially one that feels so good to live with.

Next week we will be in West Virginia for a vacation/Spargo family reunion. It will be nice to be with family and have time away, but I sure do look forward to our return to normalcy and to our balance life!

What are ways that you have found to be helpful in your search for balance? I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

As always,

Love, Sam

Connecticut Birthday Weekend

this year for my birthday Joe, Ceci and I visited my cousin and his girlfriend in Connecticut for a short getaway. they live right on the ocean and we had a marvelous time listening to the waves crashing and enjoying the salty breeze. here are a few pictures to enjoy!

beautiful panoramic shot taken with Joe's phone

i thought this quilt was so cute. I would love one for Ceci!

this house was built in the 1890s. it was truly incredible.

this baby did not mind the grass at all

not so sure about this ocean business

I Am Wrong

beautiful thought

3 little words that have such power...maybe in some ways as much power as those other 3 little words. I. Am. Wrong! Wow, those are definitely not my favorite words to say but oh how important that they be said when necessary.

Joe and I were having a "discussion" on the benefits of drinking chocolate milk after a work out. (silly I know) I just knew that it was a load of crud that chocolate milk was good for the recovering body. As we were "discussing," in the back of my head I thought, "maybe I should just drop it....I really don't want to be wrong" but I guess my inner desire to be right won out and the "discussion" turned to a fact checking session.

SURE ENOUGH. HE WAS RIGHT.  All of the facts checked led to one conclusion....I had to muster the courage and humility to say those dreaded 3 little words. I was dead wrong. Man did that stink, but immediately those words led to this thought....

In marriage we are called to lift one another up, to concede at times and to positively challenge each other. There was really no reason for me to egg Joe on. I don't know why I wanted to be right so badly, but I am sure glad I was wrong now because of what I learned. Joe is my husband, my partner and my strongest supporter. I need to always remember that I am those things for him as well. Sometimes I need to put my ego aside and say " yes love, you are right" and leave it there- regardless of how much I am screaming the opposite on the inside.

Most importantly, though the thought I found most rewarding was in saying, out loud, that I was wrong. Those words immediately made me flash back to our marriage prep about being able to express when I am wrong and how to be gracious when I am right-which for me means that I am called to love and to show that love even amidst the most silly "discussion."

Marriage is such a beautiful gift and requires so much grace. I am forever thankful that my husband-through his grace- allows me to opportunities to express when I am wrong without him gloating about his "win."

When I said those words that day, that I was wrong about the silly chocolate milk, I hope that Joe knew that what I was saying is "I love you, I am wrong and it is good that you are right."

Brooklyn Bridge Adventure

A few weeks ago we walked the Brooklyn Bridge and then took a tour of the September 11th memorial. Our day was perfect! The sun was shining, we got some great exercise and was able to cross two things off of our "We Live in NYC but Still Want to do Touristy Things" List. This is our day in photos.  Enjoy!!

I loved how worn this wood is.

Lamp post and Manhattan Bridge in the distance.

Lovely Haiku.

Sweet baby face!

September 11th Memorial Pool.

Walking back across the bridge I noticed these locks. I thought it was kinda fun!

This Place Called the Doctor's Office

Going to the doctor and spending time in said office could literally be a fascinating documentary. (I just said literally like Chris Traeger from Parks and Rec-hilarious!) Anyhoo, today Cecilia had an appointment so I took her alone, which is not very common because Joe is usually able to come. Today I was 5 minutes late, which has not been an issue before. I get Ceci checked in and walked to the well waiting room-they do have a sick waiting room, which I think is fantastic!

So, as I round the corner to the waiting area I see that it is packed. My heart takes a little drop but I tell my self not to worry because the office has a lot of doctors-I just knew we would be seen soon. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!

We waited for 2 hours to see a doctor, and it wasn't even the doctor that we normally see. This was for a check up for post ear infection and 5 month vaccinations. The whole appointment took 10 minutes. So let me just explain why I think doctor's offices are quite a thing.

1. Screaming children, and more screaming children because the other child screamed first.

2. Moms (or dads) going around the room complimenting everyone's babies and asking how old they are. I got asked 8 times how old Ceci was in probably 20 minutes. 

3. Other moms telling me to be careful of my earrings because babies like to rip them out. Yes, dear  other mom, I do wear earrings a lot and yes, I do know they attract babies like flies-said smiling.

4. Strollers, and more strollers and more strollers. All tricked out and loaded with the daily necessities-now this might be a big city thing, but seriously it is a spectacle. (side note-strollers are called carriages here-I shall stick with stroller-just fyi)

5. Hearing a brand new baby cry which makes my heart ache for a tiny baby again. Too soon?? Maybe :)

6. THE BLASTED HEAT. It is May whatever, please be kind and turn your heat off-no one wants to wait in a small room with crying babies with the heat on. Seriously!

7. Finding reassurance from the doctor that it is normal for your baby to do x or y. I know that some people dread well check ups, but I really do love them. I always find myself looking forward to finding out just how tall Ceci is or how much she weighs. 

8. Fighting the urge to question other parents' decision on why they allow their 4 year old to talk and chew on a pacifier at the same time.

9. Seeing the look in the eye of a brand new mom with her 4 day old baby and the anticipation, fright and yearning to want to be good at this thing called parenthood. ( I wish someone would have filmed our first doctor's visit to see what kind of fools we looked like)

10. The nurses-now I just about just left this as need I say more, but let me explain. The nurses that we deal with are truly fantastic. They do all the gross jobs, they deal with more screaming babies and poopy diapers and sick kids than anyone I know. They are saints and I am always thankful that they are kind hearted and willing to love my baby.

Today my visit was not so great as you might deduce from my rant in the beginning. But I know that the next time will (hopefully) be better. And truthfully, being there for so long helped me realize that I had some words to say about this place-some good and some bad. And now that they are all put down here in this space of sharing and ranting, I should leave with something positive-Ceci did truly fantastic today. She is such a trooper and only cried at the end!