To Mess..Or Not to Mess

Cecilia is an explorer. She loves to get into anything that is not a toy or meant for a baby. Electrical cords, dishes, remotes, boxes, laundry...all of her favorites. She loves to feel them, toss them around, clank them together, sit in them...you get the picture. Usually she makes a big mess in the process of the clanking and tossing which for about a minute bothered me.

You see, I used to have this image of what our living space should look like and for some odd reason it always involves perfectly folded clothing, toys in cute baskets and not a mess in sight. Why I thought this way, no one could ever know. And, I don't know why it bothered me that a 10 month old baby makes a mess. Seriously, I think I lost my mind for a brief minute.

In reality I have found that I very much enjoy when Ceci makes messes and clanks things together and throws the laundry and diapers every where. I enjoy this small part of her life because it shows that she is learning, that she is interested and that she wants to discover the world.

 As a parent of a small child who is rapidly becoming not so baby like, I think often of how we will parent Ceci. Joe and I have a unique experience in that we have been extensively trained and worked with behavior modification. Granted this was primarily with teenage boys, but some of the principles apply to children of any age. We have always joked about using our training on our own children, but in the back of my head I know that we will use parts of it because it works. Now with that said, will I use my knowledge to train Cecilia to not throw the diapers around the room or to not climb into boxes...NO. Will I use our training to help her understand why she can't hit momma or play in the street..YES. You see the difference for me is that I think the throwing of diapers and making messes and playing with calculators is SO important for her development. She is learning cause and effect, likes and dislikes, and fine motor skills. Is her behavior bad...no..she is a baby. Now if she was 12 and exhibiting the same behavior we may have a problem on our hands. But for now I will gladly watch her create small messes.

This is not all to say that our baby can run wild until she is 12. We have started working on time outs, and rationales about behavior that she should not exhibit, and how to be kind. We want Ceci to learn and grow and have a good understanding that she does not run this house (although I am sure she probably does right now), but that we parent her because we love her. Will she learn that when she makes a mess, she has to clean it up..yes..and let me tell you probably sooner rather than later. And will she learn that when she hits people she wills it in time out, and when she sits in a box and rocks too far she might fall..yes and yes!

Babies are so marvelous because of how fast they learn and how interested they are in everything. I would be doing my child a disservice if I stopped her from doing these things. As long as she is safe, I want her to explore, learn and find things she loves. Her imagination can run wild!

Love, Sam